Domestic Abuse - How we can help you |
What is Domestic Abuse? |
The Government defines domestic abuse as "any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners, or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality." An adult is defined as any person aged 18 years or over. Family members are defined as mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister, and grandparents, whether directly related, in-laws or stepfamily.
Domestic abuse occurs across society, regardless of age, gender, race, religion, sexuality, disability, wealth, and geography. |
Although Government figures show that domestic abuse consists mainly of violence by men against women, it is not restricted to women and children. Men too are abused by their partners, both male and female. |
Children are also affected and can be deeply traumatised by what they witness.
Domestic abuse is rarely a one-off incident, but is instead a pattern of abusive, coercive and controlling behaviour, through which the abuser seeks power and control over their victim. Domestic abuse may include a range of abusive behaviours, not all of which are physically 'violent'. A victim may have been putting up with the abuser's behaviour for years, such behaviour having become increasingly worse without the victim having realised it. |
Domestic abuse can include: |
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Destructive criticism and verbal abuse:
shouting/mocking/accusing/name calling/verbally threatening |
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Pressure tactics:
sulking; threatening to with hold money, disconnect the telephone, take the car away, commit suicide, take the children away, report you to welfare agencies unless you comply with his demands regarding bringing up the children; lying to your friends and family about you; telling you that you have no choice in any decisions. |
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Disrespect:
persistently putting you down in front of other people, not listening or responding when you talk, interrupting your telephone calls, taking money from your purse without asking, refusing to help with childcare or housework. |
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Breaking trust:
Lying to you, withholding information from you, being jealous, having other relationships, breaking promises and shared agreements. |
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Isolation:
monitoring or blocking your telephone calls, telling you where you can and cannot go, preventing you from seeing friends and relatives. |
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Harassment:
following you, checking up on you, opening your mail, repeatedly checking to see who has telephoned you, embarrassing you in public. |
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Threats:
making angry gestures, using physical size to intimidate, shouting you down, destroying your possessions, breaking things, punching walls, wielding a knife or a gun, threatening to kill or harm you and the children. |
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Sexual violence:
using force, threats or intimidation to make you perform sexual acts, having sex with you when you don't want to have sex, any degrading treatment based on your sexual orientation. |
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Physical Violence:
punching, slapping, hitting, biting, pinching, kicking, pulling hair out, pushing, shoving, burning, strangling. |
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Denial:
saying the abuse doesn't happen, saying you caused the abusive behaviour, being publicly gentle and patient, crying and begging for forgiveness, saying it will never happen again. |
| Many victims of domestic abuse remain in their abusive relationship and suffer in silence. They may be ashamed or frightened of the consequences of seeking help and the risk of further abuse. In many cases victims are not able to see that there is help available to them. |
| A victim may only seek help and protection when they realise that their children are being affected by the abuse or the abuse has become so severe that the police and/or social services have become involved without the victim's consent. |
| Whilst the risk of staying may be very high, simply leaving the relationship does not guarantee that the violence will stop. In fact, the period during which a woman is planning or making her exit, is often the most dangerous time for her and her children. It is strongly advised that help and advice is sought at this time. |
| What can we at Family Law Consultants do to help? |
Victims of domestic abuse need to know that they will be taken seriously and that their rights will be enforced. They need to have accessible options and be supported to make safe changes for themselves and their children.
Our solicitors are experienced, understanding and very approachable in this area and have successfully represented many victims of domestic violence who can be terrified of their partners and are seeking urgent, professional and caring assistance. We can act very quickly to protect you, often obtaining protection for you within a couple of hours of you seeking our advice.
Men are protected in exactly the same way as women by the law and surrounding agencies and we at Family Law Consultants can help men to protect themselves, should they be in a domestic violence relationship.
Your matter will be handled in the strictest confidence . If you are unsure about your rights and how best to protect yourself, contact us first by email or telephone for a confidential chat before any further action is taken.
We will only take action when you are sure that this is the route you wish to take. We will simply provide you with advice and the options available to you initially.
Although there is no single criminal offence of 'domestic violence' as such, there are several categories within the law that constitute a criminal offence that may also be defined as domestic violence. Criminal offences include: assault, threat to kill, wounding, attempting to choke, harassment, putting people in fear of violence, rape, sexual assault and exposure (Walby & Allen, 2004).
Please read our information sheets on how the law can protect you as a victim of domestic violence. See information sheet headed Injunctions the law.
Help is available, both through the law and in the form of people to talk to who really do understand your situation and can support and advise you at this difficult time. Below are links to organisations who can help you: |
http://www.womensaid.org.uk
Helpline: 0808 2000 247
A national charity working to end domestic violence against women and children. |
http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk
Helpline: 0808 801 0327
A national helpline for men experiencing domestic abuse from their partner. |
http://www.broken-rainbow.org.uk
Helpline: 08452 60 44 60
Support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people experiencing domestic abuse. |
http://www.gdvsap.org.uk
Helpline: 01452 500 115
Advice and support for women living in Gloucestershire. |
http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk
A UK-based website providing information, support and resources regarding domestic abuse. |
| How common is domestic violence? Below are some key statistics: |
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One in four women: An analysis of 10 separate domestic violence prevalence studies found consistent findings: 1 in 4 women experience domestic violence over their lifetimes and between 6-10% of women suffer domestic violence in a given year (Council of Europe, 2002). One in six men will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime, with women at greater risk of repeat victimisation and serious injury. |
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12.9 million incidents: British Crime Survey found that there were an estimated 12.9 million incidents of domestic violence acts (that constituted non-sexual threats or force) against women and 2.5 million against men in England and Wales in the year preceding interview (Walby & Allen, 2004). |
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One in five counselling sessions: Nearly 1 in 5 counselling sessions held in Relate Centres in England on 28 September 2000 mentioned domestic violence as an issue in the marriage (Stanko, 2000). |
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One call a minute to the police: Every minute in the UK the police receive a call from the public for assistance for domestic violence. This leads to police receiving an estimated 1,300 calls each day or over 570,000 each year. (Stanko, 2000). However, according to the British Crime Survey, only 40.2% of actual domestic violence crime is reported to the Police (Dodd et al, July 2004). |
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Women asssaulted by men they know: The self-completion module of the 2001 British Crime Survey research found that "women are most commonly sexually assaulted by men they know". When the researchers asked women about the last incident of rape experienced since the age of 16, they found that 45% were raped by current husbands or partners, 9% by former partners, and a further 29% of perpetrators were otherwise known to the victim. Only 17% were raped by strangers (Walby & Allen, 2004). |
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Assaults from partners not living together: Of women who had experienced domestic violence, 25% had never lived with the partner who had committed the worst act of violence against them. (Walby & Allen, 2004). |
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Fear of being killed: In a study of 200 women's experiences of domestic violence it was found that 60% of the women had left because they feared that they or their children would be killed by the perpetrator (Humphreys & Thiara, 2002). |
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Domestic violence accounts for 15% of all violent incidents. |
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On average, two women a week are killed by a current or former male partner. |
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Domestic Violence also affects Children: |
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There are children (16 years or under) in half of the households where there is domestic violence. (1999 Home Office study) |
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It is estimated that between 30% and 60% of children in homes where the mother is being abused are also at risk of being abused. (Home Office, 2000) |
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A 2000 survey of 1300 schoolchildren found that 1 in 3 boys thought violence against women was acceptable. (Survey by Zero Tolerance Charitable Trust) |
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The family courts deal with all child contact disputes on a case by case basis. Evidence of domestic violence will be taken into account and decisions about residence and contact made accordingly depending on the level of violence involved |
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Information Sheets:
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PDF Downloads:
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